Bubsandbeans | It is what it is, (until it isn’t).

It is what it is, (until it isn’t).

by sarah 29. March 2016 14:12

Wherever I go at the moment, I can’t seem to get away from the saying, “It is what it is” from the local café, even my doctor has been saying it. For a while the saying was really starting to frustrate me until I realised it is actually quite true. Sometimes it really “is what it is”

The other day I was sitting with Miss 3, who was rocking her cool purple glasses that she has had to wear since a week before Christmas and the person I was sitting with asked me, How did you feel when Miss 3 got glasses”?

I thought about it for a minute, apart from the initial Mummy guilt that she has inherited my eyes, I was fine, she was fine, my older kids were jealous as they want some cool Star Wars glasses they saw at the optometrist. She looks cute in them, she keeps them on. (We have always worn Sunglasses so that helped). So no drama, it’s not something I have worried about since being told she will need them early December..

So I told her, yes no drama at all.

She was very surprised, Oh, when our brother got glasses, as a family we were heartbroken, devastated. I smiled politely, but thought to myself, Why be devastated by something you can’t change? It really is what it is!

It’s not life threatening, it’s not going to change the way she does anything? Only improve it as she can now see properly, so why worry? Why be devastated and try and change it as “It is what it is”.

There really are somethings as a parent that we can’t change, they are what they are.

Our 8 year old has recently had to go Dairy free, which is a huge adjustment, but It is what it is. We can’t change his body, his ability to process the protein. His body does what it does!

You can’t change your children’s personalities, They are what they are!

You can’t change your own childhood, your experiences, It was what it was!

You can’t change your children’s taste in music, Just like they can’t change yours. It is what it is! Taylor swift and all.

You can’t change the way your children learn, they learn how they learn!

With four children and relatives all living busy lives with work and families themselves, it is hard for us to get time as a couple so our children go with us most places, It is what it is! and do you know what it's great, our kids love traveling, are great out at restaurants, because it is what it is. Focus on the great things, the positive's of the situation.

So as a Parent, we need to start to focus on the things that we can change.

We can’t change the experiences we had as a child good or bad but we can make sure that we create great experiences for our children.

 We can’t change the way children learn, but we can make sure we support them in the way they do.

We can’t change the fact our daughter needs glasses, but we can make sure she knows that there is nothing devastating about it, that it won’t stop her from doing anything, being anyone she wants to be.

We can’t stop our son from reacting to Dairy, but we can find Dairy free chocolate for Easter, we can swap our ice-cream for sorbet. We can make something that seems like such a huge thing, so much easier to deal with.

So as Parents we need to understand that sometimes it really is what it is!

Because I would prefer to live happily  the things I can't change than to be living "devastated and heartbroken".


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